"Hilary, The Gigantic Whore", An Extremely Tall Tale

About a week ago, I learned of a rumor that passed through my place of work about me - so I thought, for the people who aren't quite sure of what a rumor is, that I would share the definition of the word:

Main Entry: ¹ru·mor

Pronunciation: \ˈrü-mər\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English rumour, from Anglo-French, from Latin rumor clamor, gossip; akin to Old English rēonto lament, Sanskrit rauti he roars

Date: 14th century

1: talk or opinion widely disseminated with no discernible source

2: a statement or report current without known authority for its truth

3 archaic: talk or report of a notable person or event.

Now that we have that settled, on to the greatest story of our time. For those of you who know me, be prepared to laugh. Apparently, I am a giant whore.

I was actually just informed of this. Apparently, people have known this about me since February (I think. The timeline is still a little iffy). Turns out, someone started a rumor about me breaking up a co-workers marriage by having an affair with him. This was, mind you, about 3 weeks after I found out my ex-boyfriend had been cheating on me for about a year, and then broken up with me - so of course, I would then do the exact same thing I was heartbroken over someone doing to me. Duh!

Travis and I broke up in January, after about 5 years of dating. He was my first boyfriend, and my first love. My friend at work was having some problems in his marriage around the same time. A month or so later, when my friend and his wife separated, we began hanging out and talking a little more, because we were both heartbroken, and found solace in each others company. That sense of comfort developed into a pretty great friendship, where in which we were able to help each other heal. I had so many friends offering me love and support, but it was nice having someone at work who was going through a similar emotional roller coaster to just share a look with, and know what the other person was going through - and to know that it was okay to occasionally smile. This, however, translated to some people as something very different. Some of my coworkers took this new friendship to mean that we were sleeping together, and that my friend was cheating on his wife with me.

Does the rumor itself upset me? No. Everyone talks, and everyone gossips. What upsets me is that no one took the time to think or know me well enough to know that I would never in a million years do anything like this - especially seeing as how cheating is what ended my relationship that, I thought, was heading into a possible permanent thing. Not one person took a step back to think about what might have really been going on - they all just made assumptions. And again, I don't think it would have bothered me so much if it hadn't filtered it's way up to the management, and thereby directly affected my status, position, and reputation at work - all things I was not even aware of until the past 2 weeks. Apparently, according to some of my co-workers, a boy and a girl can't be friends without sex being involved. Who knew?

Basically, I am appalled at peoples ignorance. I didn't talk much about what happened with Travis and I because it hurt me too much - and the same goes for my work friend. It was our desire to keep our personal lives private that got us here - that, and peoples sheer boredom. Luckily, everything has been straightened out - to the people that matter, anyway - and things are looking up. Like, sky rocket high.

I don't think people realize how hurtful gossip and rumors can be. I, for one, am just as guilty as anyone else of gossiping - though I know I've never tried to intentionally create problems for anyone else. I'm not sure what drives people to hurt others - whether it's insecurity, jealously, or just plain boredom - and maybe it's not knowing that makes a person incapable of doing so. I always said that about Travis - I could never understand how he could cheat on me, and lie to me for so long - but maybe it's good that I don't understand it, because without understanding, perhaps I am incapable of doing the same. Maybe the same proves true here.

I will say this: I absolutely believe in karma, and things happening for a reason. I went through a few months of crap, but I'm coming out stronger on the other side, and I'm glad for that. I know who I am, and what I'm capable of. And in the end, isn't that what matters?